we are restless sleepers these days

the bed seems too small too big the sheet itching and even the cat is pacing, waiting for something.

the insane christian girl muffie and i met at the 14 bus stop has been handing out flyers warning of the impending apocalypse and yesterday she gave me one that was an invitation to heaven. heaven being a place where all women have enormous tits and guys with fake white smiles drink beer and everyone wears angel wings according to the brochure. these are the kinds of things that make me wish i was somewhere else. not here, not now.

overhearing the girls at my work discussing which american flag shirts they will buy. "the one that just has the flag and not the date will like go with more stuff" she says.

i have to turn off the radio and listen to bantam rooster loud and eat smarties until my teeth are shuddering because if i don't, i will crawl under my desk and stay there, i will not be able to ride the bus without counting the seconds until we cross over the bridge, i will forget what it feels like to form my lips into a smile.