thanksgiving with my aunt and cousins, pink jello that didn't mold so my aunt threw it in the yard, too much food, a walk by the river in the mud, eating cookies in my cousin's bed, plans of a house by the beach for xmas, art projects and 5 cousins packed into a house with a mother who is trying not to say his name. my cousin calls from college and whispers he was arrested, we look thru photo albums and tiny dresses nobody wears anymore.

you made a comment that compared to your mom, my aunt seemed calm and after the words left your mouth, i wanted to stuff them back in. my cousin left the table and my aunt laughed it off but sometimes you are so careless. my aunt is nervous energy, drinking wine and banging pans, always in motion and talking to herself in the corner. i want to protect her at all costs.