because the sheets are making me restless because people are being hideous and cruel on television (a woman in bra and panties running on a treadmill so her boyfriend will love her and he is calling her names while she runs faster and sweats) because this medicine makes me have weird dreams. because they are always about you and i compose long letters and diatribes to you in my head and wake up half expecting to see pieces of paper by the bed with frantic scribbly sick handwriting. because i feel like i'm in someone else's head right now and it's very hollow.